


Someone's Gotta Go

by thehoesthoeinallthelandofhoes



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Emotional Hurt, Family, Family Dynamics, Family Feels, Good Parent Kara (Detroit: Become Human), Heavy Angst, Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, Other, Protective Kara (Detroit: Become Human), Sad, Sad Ending, Songfic, What Have I Done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-08-11 02:57:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16467344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thehoesthoeinallthelandofhoes/pseuds/thehoesthoeinallthelandofhoes
Summary: "My name is Kära."





	Someone's Gotta Go

,"My name is Kara."  
  
_Remember all the things we wanted_  
 _Now all our memories, they're haunted_  
 _We were always meant to say goodbye_  
 _Even with our fists held high_  
 _It never would have worked out right_  
 _We were never meant for do or die_  
  
Alice is quiet- very quiet. She keeps to herself, as living in her own personal bubble. She plays with her toys silently and doesn't ever leave her comfort zone. But where Alice is quiet, Todd is loud. He always seems to find something to yell about, and when he does, he gets violent. It stirs somethinf in me, something I can't understand.   
  
Alice always looks so sad, like she's missing something she used to have. She just seems so lonely- no friends to speak of, and no other family members in the house. It must be isolating for her. I wonder why she always looks so upset when she's near me.  
  
**[Talk To Alice]**  
  
She seems like a sweet girl. Too shy to even say a word to me, but she always looks like she has something to say, words on the tip of her tongue that refuse to spill over. I wish she would speak to me so that I might know her better. She seems kind.   
  
Alice gave me a key today. I found a box in her bedroom earlier, and it fits perfectly. Inside the box I find a four-leafed clover, and I smile- she's going to be a lucky girl. Underneath the clover I find a picture of Todd, a woman, and a child. A strange feeling blooms in me when I see the picture. Further in the box, I find drawings. They make me grin. I flip through the innocent pictures casually, uñtil I find several depicting... myself? I pause, then keep looking and find images of what I assume is Todd hurting me. I feel... Bad.  
  
Don't move. Don't move. Don't move. Don't move. Don't move. Don't move. Don't move. Don't move. DON'T MOVE. DON'T MOVE. DON'T MOVE. DON'T MOVE. DON'T MOVE. DON'T-  
  
**[Protect Alice] [Reason With Todd]?**  
 **...**  
 **[Protect Alice]**  
  
She's so brave. She is so much stronger than I thought, and while I break on the inside, an oak giving in to the wind- she weathers and keeps trying. I wish she didn't have to go through all of this, I wish I could take it away from her and give a normal life in return. But I can't do that, and so I promise both her and myself that I will be by her side for as long as the world will allow me to.  
  
_I didn't want us to burn out_  
 _I didn't come here to hurt you now_  
 _I can't stop_  
  
We found an abandoned car to sleep in for the night. The windows are cracked and broken, everything is covered with a layer of dust and the seats are frayed at the edges- but it's safe, and Alice's safety is all that matters now. I hold her close to me the whole night, after having planted a kiss to her forehead. I feel... warm.   
  
When we make it to the train, we're both scared out of our minds. I'm sure her heart must be beating out of it's chest, and I wrap my arms around her when she does, if only to soothe her.  
  
"Your daughter is beautiful." A woman says with a smile, looking down at us sympathetically. I look at her and smile, but on the inside I feel weak and broken. I wish I could Alice the life she deserves, be the mother she needs- but I'm just a deviant now, and I can't possibly give her that. It hurts me more than anything ever has.  
  
Trusting Zlatko was a mistake- we should never have come here, I should have known it was a trap! I search the house as fast as I possibly can, but it's big and I'm small. But one thing is for sure: if he hurt Alice- he'll pay.  
  
**[Find Alice]**  
  
_I want you to know that it doesn't matter_  
 _Where we take this road, but someone's gotta go_  
 _And I want you to know, you couldn't have loved me better_  
 _But I want you to move on, so I'm already gone_  
  
The abandoned carnival fills me with sadness. I think of all the children that used to come here, and how Alice can't currently be like them. I almost shed a tear at the sights, my thoughts corrupted with images of things I can't possibly give her. But then, låter that night, I see her smile for the first time, and it fills me with... heat, a ticklish feeling deep inside me, light and airy. Perhaps this is what love feels like.  
  
Rose is kind, with the care of a mother. She treats us like family when most others would only look down upon us with contempt. She tells me about Canada, and her words fill me with comfort. It sounds exactly like what Alice needs, what she deserves. I only hope that I can be a part of it.  
  
**[Check What's Going On]**  
  
Alice does something in that room, something I can't understand or explain. It almost frightens me when the man's LED retreats to yellow, and I take Alice out of the room. She won't tell me what she did, but I think I already know.  
  
The policeman scares me, a looming figure in the doorframe. I silently plead with whatever god is out there that he doesn't ruin everything- not when we're so close.  
  
"My daughter." I say with a smile and the way it rolls off my tongue and sits in the air like it was meant to be there feels natural. I like the sound of it   
  
"We cross the border tonight." Rose says with determination, a woman on a mission. Her face shows no sign of uncertainty, and nothing but bravery. Her words fill me with joy- I can finally give Alice the life she has been waiting for for so long.  
  
_Looking at you makes it harder_  
 _But I know that you'll find another_  
 _That doesn't always make you wanna cry_  
 _It started with a perfect kiss then we could feel the poison set in_  
 _Perfect couldn't keep this love alive_  
  
Jericho scares Alice and I, the big ship looming over us like a living, breathing creature. It seems almost alive, carrying the androids inside because it wants to, and that causes fear and unease to settle in my stomach, and I'm sure Alice is feeling the same, if not worse. Luckimy, though, we have Luther, a giant of our own, to be our guardian and protect us, should anything happen. He smiles whenever I peak at him out of the corner of my eye, and it lets me know that we are not alone in this, and we can rely on each other.  
  
Markus scares me even more, however. He is an intimidating figure of power, who's expression always seems so wound up, like a balloon just waiting to pop. I distantly wonder if he and his pacifist ways will bring us the liberation we so desperately crave.  
  
"Alice?" I call, voice quiet and almost scared. But it isn't Alice, I know that, I've known from the start.  
  
**[Distant] [Hug]?**  
 **...**  
 **[Hug]**  
  
I don't love her any less now- and what a strange thing it is, love. I care for her just as much as I did before, and that won't change simply because my suspicions have been confirmed.  
  
There is a loud sound in the distance, a telltale sign of danger. It seems to shake the whole ship, and everyone in it. The bass-like reverberation of the ship creaking vibtates in my chest, and I instantly know that people are going to die. But whatever happens, i will not let one of those people be Alice.  
  
We play dead, laying on the ground as still as possible. I hope they can't see our shaking as we lie there, terrified for our lives. Later on, as we run away, there is a loud explosion as Jericho sinks. I wonder how many people made it out alive. I wonder if Luther made it out alive.  
  
_You know that I love you so_  
 _I love you enough to let you go_  
  
I would die for Alice, my love for her so strong it's as if I am her real mother. Our bond is just so tangible, and strong. Notging will ever change that. Yes, I would die for Alice- but I'm afraid she would do the same for me.  
  
Being with Alice feels... comfortable, warm, and safe. I feel at home with her, and I cannot possibly imagine a life without her, all other scenarios where I do not have some sort of relationship with her is heartbreaking and unthinkable. I sincerely hope that I never have to live a life without her, hope that I never have to lose her or be seperated, hope that we can be at home with each other forever.  
  
I cannot feel pain, it isn't in my programming- not in Amy android's programming. It's impossible for me to feel any kind of hurt, but when I see Alice so sad, so hopeless, so broken inside... I ache. Whatever heart I have clenches and breaks when I see her like that, and it's a feeling that almost brings tears to my eyes. It's a feeling I hope I never have to feel again.  
  
_I want you to know that it doesn't matter_  
 _Where we take this road, but someone's gotta go_  
 _And I want you to know, you couldn't have loved me better_  
 _But I want you to move on, so I'm already gone_  
 _So I'm already gone_  
  
What is a mother? Is she simply someone who cares for her child, or someone who loves her child? Is she the one who has birthed her child, or simply the woman who has taken them in under her wing. But... does it matter? Does it really matter if I created Alice or not? Does it matter, if I love her regardless, then does it really matter if she is my flesh and blood or not?  
  
Sometimes a sickening, disturbing thought crosses my mind- what has happened to Alice that I never saw? What has happened to her that I can't remember, that was wiped from my memory? What did Todd do to her while I was gone? Did he hurt her? Did he even pay her any attention? It hurts me to rhink of what horrible things sh3 might have had to endure while I was being put back together.  
  
Alice asked me a question today- 'what happens after we die?' I didn't know what to say, didn't have any answers thay didn't lead to more questions. It scares me- the thought that perhaps nothing happens after we shut down. I may not have the answer, but I hope with all my being that Alice mever has to find out.  
  
Alice asks me to tell her a story every night, and I make up a new one every time. The funny thing is- I don't know how any of them end, and she asks me every night, and I always give her the same answer.  
  
"I don't know. But all stories have morals. One day we'll know what it really meant."  
  
 "We'll be together forever?" Alice asks me, hopeful and innocent despite all that has happened to her.  
  
"Forever." I answer, and I feel as if it's true.  
  
_Remember all the things we wantedNow all our memories, they're hauntedWe were always meant to say goodbye//_

  
Alice is the best thing to ever happen to me. She makes me feel alive in ways I never thought possible. But I wonder if I am the same to her, if I have affected her just as positively, or if my presence is what brought on all of these struggles. Perhaps she would be better off without me, but some selfish part of me wants to think that I have been good for her, that I have been a positive influence, and that she needs me just as much as I need her.  
  
Yes, Alice makes me feel alive, makes me feel like I have a real, beating heart in my chest. She makes me so beautifully, imperfectly human, a joy that I would have nevet known existed if it weren't for her.  
  
Something I have realised is that Alice and I, we make each other stronger. She fuels a fire in me and I in her, and we keep each other safe in ways we can only achieve together. I may not be as large, or as strong as Luther, physically. But with Alice at my side, I feel as if I can move mountains.  
  
_I want you to know that it doesn't matter_  
 _Where we take this road, but someone's gotta go_  
 _And I want you to know, you couldn't have loved me better_  
 _But I want you to move on, so I'm already gone_  
 _I'm already gone_  
  
We end up having to take the boat across the river to Canada. It's risky and unsafe, and a grimy, dark, oessimistic part of me worries that we won't make it. I hope to whatever god is out there that that feeling is wrong, but we can only wait and see.  
  
A large ship appears seemingly out of nowhere, and my metaphorical heart drops to my metaphorical stomach. My synthetic veins fill with ice as I panic. Frantically, I accelerate the motor of our boat in the hope of escaping, but it doesn't work. There are deafening gunshots as I dive to cover Alice. I soon find that I just made the worst mistake of my life.  
  
"Kara?" I hear Alice say from behind me, scared and small. I turn around and I see... blue blood. Then I see Alice holding her chest, and I find the source of the blood. It's... oh, God it's everywhere!  
  
"You're gonna be okay." I hear myself saying in a comforting tone of voice. I know it's a lie, however, and I fear that Alice knows it too. All of my fears start to bubble up and I threaten to burst apart at the seams as I look at Alice. My... my child, bleeding out before my very eyes.  
  
"They killed Luther!" Alice exclaims, and I turn around to see the man I once thought invincable laying there, unmoving and full of bullet holes. I feel so very empty at the sight and at the realization lf the reality of the situation I have found myself in. I wonder if this is the feeling that humans reffer to as despair, this horrible, cold feeling of dread, mixed with the catharsis of knowing that something ferrible is happening, and knowing that there isn't a single thing I can do about it.  
  
_Remember all the things we wanted_  
 _Now all our memories, they're haunted_  
 _We were always meant to say goodbye_  
  
"I love you mom." Alice says in a weak voice as the life fades from her eyes and She goes limp in my arms. Her words make me yearn, ache for a living, beating heart so that this heartbreak inside me would be tangible, and not just a simulation of what a real person would feel.  
  
"I love you too."  
  
**[Give up] [keep going]?**  
 **...**


End file.
